Are you considering having anal sex yourself - or do you already have the black belt in butt play? If you're not quite sure if it's even for you. Or if you yourself have had bad experiences with anal sex and doubt that it will ever feel nice to have anything stuck up your butt. So we've collected a whole bunch of stories that might convince you otherwise. It may also be that after reading them you decide that it is not something you want to try at all.
And that's also perfectly fine. The most important thing is that you only do what you want to do - and only with people you trust and who respect your boundaries.
We have asked our wonderful community to share their experiences: both the good and the not so good. Fortunately, you can also learn from bad experiences, so there is a chance that it will be better next time.
Before you jump in to have anal sex, it's also a good idea to read our guide anal sex for the first time .
What does anal sex feel like?
Anal sex can feel great. Some describe it as a feeling of being "filled out", while for others it may just as much be the thought that is cheeky and titillating. The first time it might feel new and different because it might also feel like you have to go to the toilet.
The area around the anus - i.e. the rectal opening - is extra sensitive, and therefore many find that they easily have an orgasm when they are stimulated exactly there. At the same time, other erogenous zones and sensitive points are also stimulated in a different way than you are used to.
If you have a vulva, the back wall of your vagina is also stimulated when you have anal sex - some even talk about The A-spot , which is said to resemble the G-spot, and which sits between your cervix and your bladder. The A-spot is indirectly stimulated during anal sex.
If you were born with a penis, your prostate, which is very sensitive and swells during sex, is stimulated when a strap-on, penis or dildo is inserted into your anus. And if you insert your penis into your partner's anus, it feels like you're being enveloped tightly because the sphincter and rectum are made to close together, unlike a vulva, which is more elastic and soft.
Having said all that, there is probably no one else who can describe exactly how it will feel for you. But that's why you can easily get something out of reading about other people's good (and bad) experiences. Read the stories from our community here:
1. He kept asking if I was okay
I would like to tell about the first and second time I had anal sex. It must be said that I have been incredibly skeptical when it comes to anal sex, as I could not imagine something so "big" coming through the tiny hole. The first time was with my ex-boyfriend of 6 years, so I really trusted him (which I shouldn't have) as it was a very sore spot for me and it was something he really wanted.
I thought he has it under control and he had prepared with lube and had warmed me up okay. When he thinks I'm ready I can feel him take his fingers out and then he just smashes his member against my poor ass (he'd been watching too much porn and thought that's how it should be done), which resulted in me cracking and bleeding quite a lot. It was a horrible experience and I promised myself it would NEVER happen again!
My good experience with anal sex was when I met a guy a few years later who I trusted both sexually and personally. We talked a lot about it and I could just tell he knew what he was talking about. I told him about the situation with my ex and that, based on that, it made me a little nervous to have to throw myself into it again. He was super understanding and really put me at ease. One day, when we were together, he asked me if I wanted a massage, and I said yes. He started massaging my lower back and balls and after that, it took off:
He warmed me up really well and kept asking if I was okay, which was really nice. Also he asked if I was ready which I felt I was and wooooow an experience! I have never experienced anything so good, so anal sex with him is a huge go! I've really found that you just have to find the right one and that it's so super important that the man knows what he's doing! Am so glad that he got me "persuaded"!
2. Found out I think it's fucking rude to play with other people's ass
I like anal sex a lot myself, and I always clean myself before, because it makes me better able to relax and enjoy it. I've found that I also think it's naughty to play with other people's ass, and there I make sure to warm them up well with tongue, finger and vibration before I penetrate them with a strap-on. 🔥 ANAL SEX FOR THE WIN 😈🔥😈🔥😈🔥
For me, anal sex is a little dirty, and despite the fact that I love anal sex, I never play anal myself. I think it's because I associate myself with a "pretty girl" (I'm definitely not, but I like that illusion), and pretty girls obviously don't play with their own asses. But now I have put my foot down in front of these thoughts and bought a buttplug with vibration, which I muster up the courage to play with. It's crazy that I LOVE to play with my ass with others, but am a little afraid of it when I'm just me. 🤷♀️
READ ALSO: 9 good tips: How to use a butt plug
3. Fortunately, we could laugh about it
I tried anal sex for the first time when my boyfriend and I were very drunk at a party and we locked ourselves in a room. Suddenly, a heavy mist spreads, and when we turn on the light, there is shit all over the place! On my hand and legs and all over his cock. Fortunately, we could laugh about it, but it was some time before we did it again. Now, fortunately, we have tried it again in a sober state, and it has become something we do often and enjoy it a lot.
4. It was done so carefully and with so much care
I had sworn I would never try anal sex - until I met a partner whom I trust completely and who has taught me many things in bed at my own pace 🙏🏼♥️ So my "anal virginity" was taken one evening, slightly tipsy, on all fours on a pool table 😅 I could feel the curious hands and I gave in. It was done so carefully and with so much care. I have never been so nervous, but it felt amazing 🤩 ...fast forward to today I love it and happily play with buttplug - both with and without a partner. 😂🥳🙌🏼
5. He respected that it was happening at my pace
I had a bad experience with anal sex with a partner I didn't know very well and trusted. It went too fast and hurt terribly. I was very skeptical about trying it again, but I got a girlfriend with whom I tried it after half a year. The foreplay was long and good, so we were both fired up and ready for it. He was calm, progressed quietly and respected that it was done at my pace. It ended up being a really good experience and gave me several orgasms along the way.
Definitely something I'll try again with a partner I trust, good foreplay, good preparation and a good dose of lube.
I hope my story can help more people dare to throw themselves into it. 🙂
6. It helped to realize that I think it's lovely
I'm generally a big fan of anal sex. I come pretty much immediately if I touch myself while he's inside me or if a butt plug is on. It helped me when I realized that I thought it was nice, because then I could relax a lot more because I felt like it was something I was doing for my own sake - and not just for his. However, a good warm-up with a lot of lubricant is always preferable. 🙏
7. ALWAYS use lubricant. ALWAYS
We had had anal sex before, my boyfriend and I, and one day we were drunk and he insisted that lube wasn't necessary, so he just spat really well and went in... it was a quick no thanks from here. 🥲 ALWAYS use lube. ALWAYS. Saliva is NOT enough. 😭 And then I wish I had dared to throw myself into buttplugs before anal sex, as it made the actual experience of anal sex so much better, that there wasn't that "aw for so-and-so" adaptation period at the same time as the sex part. 🥰
8. He had a harder time understanding how slowly it must go
I had a good experience and was pleasantly surprised. However, I became aware of how little I knew about it when we got started. We used water based lube and I found it went away very quickly. It was difficult for us to go slower than when we have vaginal sex. He had a harder time understanding how slow it should go (think it may be due to porn #turboanalsex and lack of understanding of what it feels like to have a dick in his ass).
I never thought I would like it, but afterwards I've wanted to try it again. Don't know where to start or end to get an even better experience.
9. We had an open dialogue before, during and after
I slept with my then boyfriend in high school and we had long considered anal sex, but neither of us knew how to go about it. It was a random Tuesday evening, and we lay and cuddled and touched each other. All of a sudden he reaches into his bag, where he has taken a lubricant that had been lying there for some time. It succeeded. I felt so safe and comfortable. Partly because it was a person in my life I was comfortable with, but most of all because we had an open dialogue before, during and after, which made it a super experience.
I've had anal sex ever since and every time I make sure to start a conversation within creating a safe space for myself and my partner. And (huge plus) ever since this first encounter with lube it has been a faithful follower - anal or not. 💖❤️🔥
10. I probably wasn't quite ready
We did it the first time because my girlfriend wanted to, and unfortunately it was only afterwards that it dawned on me that I probably wasn't quite ready, so it subsequently became a rather vulnerable subject for me, which we have kept quiet and take it easy. 🌱
11. In the past I have agreed to it to please my partners
I've always been open to it, but never really bothered about it: In the past I've agreed to it to please my partners, but unfortunately it's just never been very good, and it's been a bit of a fear to have to deal with that in recent relationships.
My attitude towards it and feeling about it has now TOTALLY changed and it has become a source of extreme pleasure for me because I have found a partner who respects my boundaries, listens to me and lets me take it (or that, hey ...) at my pace. Huge recommendation from here: communication and respect! ♡
12. The problem we have not considered
I used my brand new love beads (anal chain, ed.) during foreplay with a partner, after which we had sex while it was still up. Very nice. Can definitely be recommended.
The problem we had not considered, however, was that there is no stopping block on it, as there is on e.g. standard buttplugs so when we finished we couldn't find it. It didn't seem to stick out and wasn't in the bed, so I had to go to the bathroom laughing and a little awkwardly and investigate the matter on my own. Fortunately, it was still possible to get out, but I will definitely not let it go again! Just a little tip if you should find yourself in the same situation, so you avoid the suction in your stomach when it is suddenly gone! 🌟
13. It was straight on and hard because we didn't know any better
I tried anal sex for the first time when I was 15 years old with my then boyfriend. There was no lube or gentle start-up: it was straight on and hard because we didn't really know any better. We barely got started before I had to stop due to too much pain and I swore I wouldn't try that again.
Many of my friends have talked about their experiences and shared knowledge with each other. It piqued my interest in it, because could it be that anal sex was also something other than pain?
Now I am 19 years old, have a new girlfriend and have tried anal sex once more. This time with lube and a calm start, which has turned out to be a huge upswing! Anal sex turned out to be nice and actually something we could both enjoy. Therefore, a huge recommendation from here: That you start calmly with fingers and lots of lube and maybe continue with a butt plug, maybe without.
Read more about anal sex , see our selection of anal toys , and read more about how to use lubricant .
