Guide to anal sex - 4 good tips before you start

Anal sex can feel completely different from sex where, for example, the vagina is penetrated. The area around the anus is extra sensitive, and for some, the idea that it is somewhat forbidden and taboo to have anal sex is also extra titillating. If you are equipped with a penis, it will probably also feel tighter to have sex in the anus than in the vagina.

It can be both naughty and nice to have anal sex. But before you try it yourself, there are a thing or two that are good to know first! Let's get into it!

Our desires and preferences are very different - also when it comes to anal sex. Some are interested in just a bit of anal stimulation like a finger or a small butt plug, while others prefer something bigger and more intense. Nothing wrong with that! Everyone has their own taste, speed and preferences. Exploring anal sex alone is a good way to explore your pleasure. If you are exploring anal sex with a partner, remember to communicate your preferences and boundaries clearly, while also understanding your partner.

Anal sex first time

If it's your first time having anal sex, either alone or with a partner, it's a good idea to proceed slowly. In order for it to feel nice, you must relax your sphincter, which ensures that the anus can constrict. It may require a little warming up!

Start possibly with other sex, so that you are both wet and relaxed, and then gently try how it feels to be touched by a finger, butt plug, dildo or penis around the anus. To start with, you or your partner can gently massage the anus to loosen it up, and finally you can just as quietly penetrate. Notice if it feels good, and stop or take a break if it feels uncomfortable. Listen to your body and do not exceed your own limits. Read along and get our best advice in the guide here!

How to prepare before anal sex

Anal sex should feel great for all parties. That's why it's a good idea to have a little preparation! If you go too fast, it can be painful - if you take your time, it can feel really nice. For many, anal sex is associated with a lot of taboo - you may feel insecure if you are afraid that you are not clean, that it smells, or that faeces will get on the penis or the bedding. With thorough preparation, there is a greater chance that you will feel safe and therefore better able to enjoy this wonderful act.

• Wash yourself before you start. For many, the worst nightmare when it comes to anal sex is that some [um] crap should come out. But unless you feel like you have to go to the bathroom, your rectum is actually relatively clean, so you really don't have to worry about poop coming out while you're having sex. But if you are still worried about whether this should happen, it is a good idea that you wash around the anus and just inside the rectal opening. Then you'd better give up once you get started. To that, we would just like to add that, if this happens on a rare occasion, don't be ashamed! It is a completely natural part of anal sex and we ALL go to the toilet together once in a while. Guess the cats out of the bag!

• If you are not at home and you expect to have anal sex, you can also have a pack of wet wipes for intimate care in your bag - then you can easily slip into the bathroom to get ready.

• Use LUUUUUBE. Make sure you have bought a good lubricant before you plan to have anal sex. You don't get naturally moist around the anus, and therefore some lubricant is needed to make it feel nice to have anal sex. Give it gas! Better too much than too little.

Does anal sex hurt?

Anal sex does not hurt if you can relax your sphincter and you use lube. But it can be a painful experience if you cannot loosen up in the anus or you are too dry. It is important that you both want to have anal sex.

More ways to have anal sex

Anal sex does not only have to take place with the penis being inserted into the anus. Anal sex can also be a titillating little finger at the anus while you have sex or trying out a butt plug. Anal sex is any form of sex where the anus is either massaged, touched or penetrated. Give it a try and see what turns you on!

Anal sex with sex toys

If you would like to use sex toys, there are many options you can explore. It can, for example, be:

• Buttplug - A buttplug resembles a dildo, but is often shorter and is shaped with a kind of stopper at the end so that it cannot slip up into the rectum. Butpluggs are available, e.g. both in rubber and glass.

• Dildo - You can use an ordinary dildo for anal sex, but make sure you hold it tight: If you stick it in too far, it can disappear up the rectum, and this can result in a slightly awkward trip to the emergency room (So let's try to avoid it!)

• Vibrator - A vibrator can also be nice to use. You don't necessarily have to stick it inside, but it can be an effective way to get you to loosen up around the anus. Again, remember to hold on tight - it's so boring when sex ends with a call to the emergency room. A vibrator can also be used to stimulate the clitoris during anal sex.

See our selection of butt toys here!

What sex positions for anal sex?

Anal sex can be practiced in as many positions as other types of sex. The stereotype of an anal sex position is doggystyle, but it can be much more intimate to have anal sex in a position where you are tightly enveloped. Try for example:

• Anal sex in spoon.
• Anal sex, where one of you lies on your stomach with your legs together while the other party is penetrated in the anus.
• Anal sex in missionary position.

Should you use lube for anal sex?

YES! It is a good idea to use lubricant when you have anal sex. You don't naturally get wet in the anus, so it can be a painful experience if there is no lubricant of any kind. It will be a much more delicious experience for both of you if the lubrication is under control.

Can you have an orgasm with anal sex?

You can have an orgasm with anal sex. Some even get stronger when they have anal sex. When people with penises become sexually aroused, the gland called the prostate swells. It can precisely be stimulated when the rectum is penetrated, and this can cause powerful orgasms. If you were born with a vagina, you can also have an orgasm when you are stimulated at the anus and in the rectum.

4 good tips before having anal sex

1. Remember good hygiene - Even if you have washed, there are still bacteria in the rectum and around the anus. It is therefore important that you do not use sex toys that have been used in the anus in the vagina afterwards. Just as it is also a stupid idea to stick the penis up the vagina after it has been in the rectum. It can cause pelvic inflammation if bacteria from the intestine are transferred to the vagina. A quick solution to the problem is to use a condom - also on the sex toy. Then you simply change the condom before you penetrate the vagina.

2. Go forward quietly. For anal sex to be a good experience, you must be able to relax and loosen up in the area around the anus. Notice if it feels good and stop if it hurts.

3. Start with one finger . If you haven't had anal sex before, start by massaging just as quietly. If it feels good, you can try sticking a finger inside. If you are still interested in anal sex, you can go ahead and try your hand at a penis, a butt plug or a virator. Move slowly at first and only speed up if it feels good.

4. Use plenty of lube. Lubrication is necessary when you have anal sex. Never forget!

What is anal sex?

Anal sex is sex where the area around the anus is touched. It can both be touching on the outside, and it can be penetration of the rectal opening. It can, for example, be with a finger, with a penis, with the tongue or a piece of sex toy.

We also offer anal toys at Club Venus.