“We’re all supposed to be naked all the time.”
“It’s weird and unshapely.” Marta’s relationship with her body is a very common story — comparing it to other women’s bodies and feeling let down when it’s not an identical match. Over the years it’s become very clear who’s to blame: the media. So, along with many other women, Marta is giving beauty norms the middle finger and loving every shape, twist and mark on her body. We caught up with her to chat about body image, orgasms and sexuality.
Paint the picture of how you see your body.
It's a little weird and unshapely, and it definitely doesn’t look like the bodies you see in magazines or on TV. But, it’s beautiful — it's soft, sometimes feminine, sometimes not feminine at all. Putting recent lockdown aside, it’s sometimes strong. The upper half is slender with defined collar bones and small, round breasts. From the navel down it's bigger, with a round tummy and thick butt. The upper body and the lower body are very different, and they don't look like they belong together. But I make it work.
How do you feel about your body?
I used to feel really bad about it. I didn't like it at all, and I have been very sad about how it looks. While I was growing up, I had a hard time accepting and coping with the fact that I didn't look like my friends. They were all tall, slim and blonde, and I was small, dark and sort of stubby — at least that's how I felt. I also have a lot of body hair that’s dark and thick. While this is ordinary in Italy, which is where my mum is from, that's not the case here in Denmark. So, I've always felt gross and it takes me so much time, energy and money to remove body hair.
How has this impacted other areas of your life?
It added to the fact that I was already struggling with gender. I don't really feel feminine, and, when I was younger, I thought it was because I wanted to be a boy — back then gender politics didn't exist in my world. I was really confused and in some ways I still am. Basically I just felt totally out of place and I felt like my body and my looks were to blame.
Do you still feel this way?
Well, for the last 10-15 years I have been working on my relationship with my body and it has gotten much better. One day I just decided to roll with the fact that I'm different, so now I try to "reclaim" it or own it instead of thinking about what other people think. I have accepted how it looks and how it makes me feel, and I also feel more secure about it. I don't know if it's just me or if it also has something to do with how the world is changing, but I don't feel as ashamed anymore. I feel brave enough to have hair in my armpits and to have a little fat on my stomach and so on. Or maybe I have just stopped caring. There are more important things to worry about.
How do you feel when you’re naked?
I feel free. I think we’re all supposed to be naked all the time, so it feels natural.
How would you describe your sexuality?
Hungry and curious. I love sex and I would like to have sex all the time if I could. I have a big sexual appetite, and it has actually been a problem in my earlier relationships. I try to stay open-minded and try new things. But I'm kind of conservative when it comes to sexual partners. I don't feel attracted to people that I don't know. So, I haven't really ever had a one-night stand. I don't know, I feel like it doesn't really add up for me, but I guess it’s because I need to feel safe — then I'm up for most things. But, sex doesn't have to always be romantic, sensual or even a big deal. Sometimes it’s just cosy.
How did you come into your own with your sexuality?
I’ve become more confident with myself and I’m better at asking for what I need and want, but I always try to get better. I’m also figuring out how to pursue my attraction to different genders. My first sexual experiences were with my girlfriends, but since I started getting romantically involved with people, I have only been with men. And I absolutely love having sex with men, but I have always been attracted to women and non-binary people, too. Understanding my own gender and sexuality is still a work in progress. It’s constantly developing.
Do you masturbate?
Yes, I do. A lot. I have a couple of vibrators, and I’ve recently added another to the collection. But, I also love masturbating without toys. I try to switch it up a little, and it also depends on how much time I have.
Solo sex vs. sex with others. Thoughts?
That’s a really difficult question! Having sex with others is just a thousand times more intense. You kind of melt together as one person. It’s nice to pleasure someone else and work together towards a common goal (orgasm). Masturbating is also really amazing, and I know my body better than anyone, so I can achieve orgasm fast. But when a partner makes me orgasm it’s just a whole other thing.
Marta med vores cheeky wand vibrator from pillow talk
photos : @sarahbrik
