Text by Ida Højegaard.
How many times have you masturbated in the last month? How long do you typically masturbate? And what methods do you use when you masturbate? These are some of the questions we at Klub Venus have asked our community, in our latest survey under the initiative, Reported Pleasure; a study about your masturbation habits and about the thoughts you associate with sex and with yourself.
At Club Venus, we never stop talking about masturbation. Masturbation is about your sexual health and your right to explore your body and your pleasure. The results of the survey provide a clear and honest answer to all the questions that we normally do not dare to ask each other.
With the study, we want to emphasize that there is no right way to masturbate. Everyone is different and our individual journeys towards sexual pleasure and self-discovery vary. It is a completely natural part of life to explore our bodies and discover what works best for us.
In total, over 1400 responses have been collected. 1293 vulva owners and 140 penis owners answered the survey. It is important to remember that our community is only a sample of people. If you are curious, you can see all the details of the individual answers through the link here.
Masturbation and orgasm
First things first. Why do you really masturbate?
When you masturbate, you do it because you are horny, because you want to have an orgasm, to get out of your head, to fall asleep, to relieve pain, to get down in your body or to actively get to know your body better.
Others mention that masturbation is a form of self-care, a bit like taking a hot bath, a skipping act or a fixed routine before bed . A scribe; I masturbate to regain a healthy relationship with sexuality after abuse and another; I masturbate to release control and stop hearing my thoughts in an invasive way.
22% of you masturbate because you have had sex with a partner and did not have an orgasm. 6% because you have to have sex with a partner later. So there are a lot of different reasons why you have sex with yourselves.
Also when it comes to orgasm, your answers range widely. 64% of you always achieve orgasm when you masturbate. 28% answer yes, most of the time, while 4% answer rarely or never.
Orgasm or not, 81% feel satisfied after a masturbation session. Some feel happy and redeemed. While others feel tired and bored. Unfortunately, shame also fills a lot of people. More about that in the last part of the article.
Do you masturbate as much as I do?
How many times do you actually masturbate in a month?
Almost half of you, 49%, masturbate 1-7 times a month. But 19% of you say that you usually masturbate more. 29% masturbate 8-15 times a month. 15% masturbate 16-30 times.
When you have sex with yourselves, it lasts anywhere from under a minute to over an hour. For 37%, your go to is a session of 8-19 minutes.
And psst. 38% of you started masturbating (consciously) before you turned 13.
Fingers and fantasies
The methods are many. The fantasies even more.
While 98% of you stimulate the external genitalia when you masturbate, rub, grind and rub 43% of you against something. 25% masturbate by penetrating the vagina (vagina) with their hands. And 15% penetrate the anus.
In addition to stimulation of the body, many of you also prefer an extra addition to your pleasure hunt. 70% fantasize about a person, situation or something else. 66% watch porn. 22% listen to music. 25% read something that turns them on, and 12% look at themselves.
23% do not focus on anything other than their body.
Sex toys or not?
82% of you use aids when you masturbate.
In the study, it is the suction vibrator that is the big player. As many as 59% of you use suction toys when you masturbate. Otherwise, a dildo with vibrator, a small vibrator for external stimulation and lubricant are the products that are used most at home under the covers.
8% use aids whose primary function is not masturbation. It's everything from electric toothbrushes, shower heads, pillows and duvets, to vegetables, chair edges and deodorants, and much, much more.
A shame
Unfortunately, 11% of respondents feel ashamed after masturbating. The shame is very much about porn, a feeling of having done something wrong or a feeling that your friends, family, girlfriend have 'seen you' and are judging you.
I am in a permanent relationship, and would rather 'use' the desire together with my girlfriend than masturbate, so I may well feel a little shame if I 'use' the desire alone instead. The shame is born from the feeling that I masturbate in a "wrong" or "strange" way. I am a devout Christian, and feel that I have sinned when I have masturbated. I'm ashamed of the porn I end up watching. It can seem oppressive to women, and I am otherwise a feminist on a daily basis.
It is important that you give yourself time and space to explore your sexuality without judging yourself. Most of us involuntarily associate our sexuality with something shameful. There is still a great deal of taboo and shaming associated with human sexuality today, both directly and indirectly, so it is quite normal to carry it around. Getting rid of the shame can take a lot of active de-tabooing, and it can take a long time, so give yourself a lot of love in that process. You are perfectly normal and it will get better.
The survey on your masturbation habits is the second one that Klub Venus initiates and publishes under the Reported Pleasure initiative.
