Learning to love yourself | Sexuality and more

"If you find the right partner your body will tell you!"

Salo with our Fin vibrator, meant to be carried between your fingers

Self-love involves protecting yourself, and Salo learnt that early on. She chats to us about how her ethnicity made others feel entitled to her body, and how she now fully trusts her body’s intuition — if she’s around someone respectful and safe, her gut instinct kicks in.

How would you describe your body?

Slim and curvy because I definitely got the booty and the boobs. I also have very soft and smooth skin, which I always appreciated!

Have you always had such confidence about your body?

No, I’ve struggled a lot with self-acceptance and loving my body, which put me through many years of eating disorders. My whole life, weight has been a very big topic in my family, which made me very insecure because I felt like I could never get it right. I could never achieve the “perfect” body, but I’m happy and proud to say that I no longer have this unrealistic notion in my head anymore. I have learned to accept and love most parts of my body, and myself! I’ve also become very protective of my body, which sometimes is not the best thing when you want to be intimate with someone. But, I can say for sure, if you find the right partner that you can fully trust, your body will tell you!

Asian women are very sexualized and objectified in this world and I can definitely see how my South Korean roots may have been part of the reason why I had to endure so much sexual harassment and even assault.

How do you feel when you’re naked?

It depends where I am. I feel super comfortable and free when I’m naked at home. I really enjoy sleeping naked as well. But I definitely get insecure when I’m naked in front of someone else. I just feel very exposed. I know my big breasts get a lot of attention and it makes me feel a bit uncomfortable... Once, I spent an evening completely naked at a huge sauna facility with hundreds of people (also naked), and I had a lot of old men following me, staring at me and trying to make conversation. Even though I was uncomfortable, I felt very liberated and proud that I just did what I wanted to do.

How would you describe your sexuality?

That’s actually a tough question because I don’t like to put a label on my sexuality... I would say I am very experimental, curious and open to new things when it comes to sex. I always knew I am into men but discovered quite early on that I also like girls. I love the body of a woman and I love the body of a man. Romantically, I am definitely more attracted to men. That’s why I find it hard to define my sexuality. I’ve definitely had years of feeling completely confused, but I’m now able to identify what I like and what I don’t — and it doesn’t matter that I can’t put a label on it.

Have you been able to freely explore your sexuality?

Yes, because I have never been scared of people questioning me or judging me about it at all. I actually never put much thought into it and just do what I like. When I am with someone I fully trust, I would be open to trying almost everything.

Do you masturbate?

Yes, I do. I actually only have one sex toy I use for masturbation.

Solo sex vs. sex with others — speak on it.

I would say having sex with another person is much more intimate and romantic, which I personally enjoy more than masturbating. It also pushes you beyond your boundaries to try new things because there is another person that may like things you’ve never thought of doing. You might even find yourself enjoying things you never thought you would! You learn to be more comfortable and confident in being sexual with someone else. I definitely receive pleasure by pleasuring someone else.

On the other hand, having sex with yourself can be very intimate too because you learn what works for your body and what doesn’t. You can let your fantasies run wild! It’s healthy to figure out what your preferences are.

follow her here: @salostolle