Tantra sex is not a quickie, you squeeze into the entrance between jackets and shoes on your way out the door to brunch with the family. On the contrary! Tantra requires time, contemplation and calm - in return you can achieve more and stronger orgasms and greater endurance. And so this ancient sensual practice is worth trying for you who want to achieve even greater pleasure, want more presence with partners and a more loving relationship with your own body.
What is tantric sex?
If you mix yoga, meditation and sex together in a pot and stir well, you are left with tantra, which is a wonderful union of all elements. Tantrasex is based on a philosophy that energy flows in your body, which connects your body's 7 chakras/energy centers. And by building a sexual tension, you will be able to open your chakras and be filled with a sense of ecstasy and of merging with your partner.
Often the main focus around sex today is on penetration, ejaculation and orgasms, where it is about either giving or taking. But in tantric sex, there is more focus on the process and not the goal, and it is about enhancing and mastering your sexual energies, prolonging pleasure and exploring yourself and your partner.
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Why engage in tantric sex?
There are many good things to say about tantric sex, and some of the most tangible bonuses are that over time you will gain greater control over ejaculation and orgasm and have longer, more and more powerful orgasms. But you will also be able to achieve greater satisfaction on a higher level, where you will have a more loving and present relationship with your body and your partner.
If you find that the distance between you and your partner has become too great, that you have forgotten to prioritize each other for a long time - or quite simply need to explore yourself and each other, then tantra is a very good place to start.
The extra dimension in tantric sex
For many, tantra will also be experienced as an individual journey, where you become wiser about your own body, desire and sexuality. Because when you don't have to rush through a sex act, but rather give yourself plenty of time to feel your body, you are 'forced' to be present and feel yourself. You will learn to create a balance between your consciousness and energy, receive and enjoy without having to give in return. But also to give without expecting anything in return.
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How to get started with tantra sex
Although it is an ancient practice and a way of life with a tradition of strict celibacy and advanced sex positions, it is all about finding the right balance for you together.
There are plenty of intercourse positions and exercises to try as a beginner, and below we have collected five good positions that you can experiment with.
But before you get to that part, there are some preparations to ensure that you get off to a good start.
Here you will get eight good tips to awaken and build desire and desire slowly, so you get off to a good start:
8 good tips before you throw yourself into tantric sex
1. The right partner: The tantra exercises are good to do with a partner you know well and are comfortable with, so there is room for both of you to be vulnerable. Start by talking through your expectations beforehand so that you are both aware of what you are getting into. Please also agree whether you want to completely avoid orgasm during the act.
2. Celibacy: By not having sex with yourself or each other for a few more days, you can build up a stronger sexual energy, and you will therefore get more out of your experience together.
3. Good time: Set aside plenty of time - and at least a few hours!
4. Weird surroundings: Make the room you will be in cozy and nice. Ensure dim lighting, a good temperature, soft music and a good place to lie down. Remove what can distract and disturb you and add more of what can make you relax.
5. A warm bath: Start by taking a warm bath together or individually. The bath will make you relax in the body and give you time to land mentally.
6. Gentle massage: Lie down on the bed and take turns slathering each other in a delicious oil. Give yourselves plenty of time to explore each other's bodies. When the focus is no longer on stimulating to climax, it opens up to exploring your partner.
7. Deep breaths: Good deep inhalations and exhalations help you to be present in body and mind. They can also help you if you are close to being overtaken by an orgasm that you want to keep at bay.
8. Delay climax: When you feel climax approaching during sex, stop for a moment. Relax your body and use your deep breaths.
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Are you ready? Here you get 5 sex positions that easily get you started with tantric sex.
5 positions from tantra sex you can try
In this guide, the "giver" is the one who penetrates the other with either a penis, a finger, a dildo or the like. The other is the "recipient". Many of the positions also work without penetration or are suitable for oral sex or rimming.
1. Eye contact and breathing
It sounds simple - but it has a huge effect. Eye contact with your partner and a synchronized deep breath will calibrate you, allowing you to land in your bodies and together in space. You can sit opposite each other and hold each other's hands or place a hand over each other's heart. Look into each other's eyes and see if you can synchronize your breathing. Feel free to stay for at least 5 minutes. In this simple way, you create an intimate bubble where you can explore each other and yourselves in. You don't have to say anything. Just be quiet. Together.
2. Oldie but goldie: The Missionary
You know the classic intercourse position - but it's a hit! Especially when it comes to tantra, because it provides the perfect opportunity to make eye contact, kiss, feel and embrace each other. The giver lies at the top between the recipient's legs and rests on his knees and thighs. The receiver lies on his back - either flat on the surface or with a little support under the lower back.
3. Merge into a Lotus
The giver sits in a tailoring position and the receiver sits on his lap and wraps his legs around the lower back of the giver. In this position, you have the opportunity to merge completely into one by also embracing each other in a close hug. The one sitting at the top rocks back and forth in the lap of the giver. In this position you can play with penetration, but the position also works really well without penetration. Here you have a good opportunity to make small tilts, pressures or circular movements with your abdomen against each other's bodies - or simply to merge together and feel each other.
4. The hot chair
The donor sits on his knees with his legs slightly apart. The recipient sits on the giver's lap, kneeling with their legs between the giver's legs. The recipient rests their back against the donor's chest as if on a chair. Here the recipient has good opportunity to move the hips up and down, or in circular movements. Lean your upper bodies together and let the giver hold the recipient's upper body from behind. You can use a wall or sofa back to support the donor's back. The position can be varied with the receiver bending the legs and placing the feet between the knees of the giver.
5. The butterfly with variations
The recipient lies on a bed or table flat on their back with their legs or feet resting on the donor's shoulders. The recipient can advantageously have a pillow under the lower back, so that the butt is lifted from the surface and the donor can penetrate deeper. This position is good for deep, slow penetration. The recipient can experiment with opening up the hips well by letting the feet rest on the partner's upper body and letting the knees fall out to the side. Another small variation that makes a big difference is to move both legs or feet onto one shoulder of the giver. The little turn to the side does wonders for both of you!
What does tantra mean?
Tantra means "weaving together" in Sanskrit and refers to "weaving" body and mind together.
Where does tantric sex come from?
Tantric sex originates from India and goes back more than 5,000 years. However, Tantra is not only about sexual pleasure and sexual energies - it is more about celebrating your body and feeling heightened sensuality. Cultivated by Buddhist and Hindu monks, the practice intertwines spirituality, sexuality and a state of mindfulness.
