How do you have sex with another woman? We feel like writing that you should just do what feels good, because that's really what should be the golden rule of thumb for all sex - but now that you've clicked on this article, it's probably because you miss some slightly more concrete instructions for how a girl has sex with another girl.
Maybe you yourself fantasize about being with another woman. It could also be that you are just curious about what lesbian sex is and how lesbians have sex.
We'll have to explain it all.
What is lesbian sex?
Maybe we just have to answer the question above first. Quite literally, the term "lesbian sex" covers "sex between two lesbian women". Some will also think that when two women have sex with each other, it is by definition lesbian sex - even if the women are not lesbian at all (you can have sex with another woman, even if you are heterosexual or bisexual). .
In reality, it is less important what it is called. In this guide, we're going to use the words a bit interchangeably: Lesbian sex, girl sex, sex between women, or just ... sex. And right in this guide you're reading right now, it covers sex between two people who both have a vulva.
How do you have lesbian sex?
The vast majority of tips for sex can be used regardless of whether you are both women, men or two different sexes in the same bed. You can explore our sex ideas guide to find inspiration.
Some would claim that sex between two women is gentler, but that is not necessarily true - lesbian sex can easily be rough sex. Others think that there is no penetration when girls have sex with each other, but that doesn't have to be true either. For example can you use a dildo or a strap on to penetrate each other. Girl sex can be many things: from oral sex and kissing games to anal sex and BDSM.
Is lesbian sex real sex?
Yes, lesbian sex is real sex. Perhaps you learned at school that sex is when the penis is inserted into the vagina, and that after a while it ends with the man having orgasm and ejaculation. But sex is more than that: Sex is about pleasure and satisfaction and about being intimate together.
Lesbian sex first time
If you are going to have sex with another woman for the first time, there is no one answer as to how you should do it. But now we promised to be specific, so here you get a more detailed explanation.
Ask for consent. Always. Sex without consent is not sex at all. If you are in doubt about the best way to do this, we have created a guide on how to ask for consent .
Oral sex. If you have seen porn films with lesbian sex, then oral sex, where one woman licks the other's vulva, is very likely to be on the program. Many may imagine that oral sex is the only kind of sex you can have if two girls are to be together. During oral sex, you can take turns licking the area around the vulva and stimulating the clitoris with your tongue. But it can also involve rimming: A rim job is when you lick your partner's anus with your tongue.
Nipple play. Some (but not all) think it's nice to be touched on the nipples during sex. Lick, nibble, bite or use a vibrator to caress the nipples. Your nipples are one of the body's erogenous zones , and many (regardless of gender) get turned on and tickled by being touched here (for others, it's actually a turn off). And then nipple play can be combined with many other delicious things: You can stimulate your sex partner's clitoris while you suck on their nipples. Or you can lick your partner's neck while hugging them.
Sex with penetration. Even if you're with another woman, that doesn't mean you can't penetrate each other. You can penetrate your date with your finger - e.g. during oral sex. You can also use a dildo. Possibly one with a vibrator function, so you can stimulate your partner's clitoris at the same time. Or you can stimulate each other with each of your dildos at the same time.
Sex with toys. There are no limits to which sex toys are suitable for lesbian sex. You can stimulate both yourselves and each other with a vibrator, a suction toy, a wand, a dildo... you name it.
Strap on. A strap on is a dildo that you fasten to your abdomen like an artificial penis, so you can take each other either vaginally or anally. You can also use a strap on as a woman when you have sex with a man. Like so much else, it probably takes some practice to get the hang of your strap on. See if it's something you're comfortable with and proceed slowly. You can also use what is called a base stimulator, which can be fitted to the other end of the strap-on dildo, so that it stimulates the vulva of the person wearing the strap-on.
Don't forget the g-spot. The tiny dot on the back wall of the vagina can send you and your partner straight to heaven. There are many myths about whether the g-spot even exists. But if you both have a vagina, you can go hunting for it together and share notes afterwards. We have of course made the guide where the g-spot is .
Anal sex. Sex between two women can easily involve anal play. We have made a guide to anal sex , which you can study closely, and otherwise just explore each other. Anal sex can be sex with a discreet little finger in the butt, you can use a butt plug, or you can use a dildo, with which one penetrates the other.
But when does intercourse end when you have lesbian sex?
Yes, we can understand if you ask. Because we are culturally educated that sex ends with the man ejaculating - but what if there is no man involved?
Well, does it end with you and/or your partner coming? Njarh, we'd rather not have you believe that. There is never an orgasm guarantee, even if it has been such a wonderful intercourse. And how wild and intense your orgasm is should never be the measure of whether it's good sex. Sex can easily be nice without it.
Sex is over when you don't want to anymore. It may be when one or both have arrived. It can be when you both feel satisfied and tired. It is difficult - even impossible - to define when it will end. Feel forward and notice.
Also read our guide to porn for women , our article on how to use a butt plug and our guide on how to have a squirt orgasm .
