Do you dream of tying your partner in beautiful bondage knots that give you control? Or do you dream of being the one who submits and is held in the most aesthetic way? Then the Japanese bondage Shibari might be a kink for you.
What is shibari?
Shibari is a form of bondage , where you tie your partners with ropes in aesthetic patterns and knots on parts of or the whole body. The one who is bound is considered a work of art, where body parts and shapes are highlighted and framed by the rope.
In Japanese bondage, the poles between taking control and surrendering control are played with - a play between the dominant and submissive role, where one takes the power and the bound partner submits.
For some, shibari is a kink that leads to immense arousal, and for others it functions more as a meditative practice. It can be performed both with and without clothes.
In the western world, most people are familiar with bondage and bondage bindings, which are reminiscent of the bindings you make in shibari. In the western world, bondage is often also seasoned with equipment such as cuffs and gag-balls, where shibari in its original form only consists of tying each other with rope.
Some experience trance-like states and great excitement during the act, while others use it as a form of meditation. Some use it as a way to release inner stress and get an outlet for emotions.
How do I get started with shibari?
First of all, you need to clarify with your partners whether they want to explore the art of shibari with you. It can be a good and developmental thing to push one's limits - but they must not be exceeded.
Bonding and exploring shibari can strengthen the intimacy and trust between you. You will be able to achieve powerful experiences together, which can trigger great emotions. Many experience a rush of endorphins during and after the session, and some will have strong feelings during the bonding. Therefore, it is a good idea to make your own guidelines for how the whole thing should take place. Here are some things that are good to decide on in advance:
- Who must bind - and who must be bound?
- Should you tie each other naked or clothed?
- What are your expectations for the experience?
- What would you like to be involved in and where are your limits?
What equipment do I need?
Creativity is very good - but when it comes to shibari and bondage, safety first applies! Always choose equipment that is intended for the purpose and drop belts, rope from the tool shed or yarn from the knitting club. If you are not quite ready for the shibari rope, you can explore bondage with cuffs, collars and gag balls.
8 tips for those who want to explore shibari
When you and your partner are ready to explore your kink, there are some things that are good to prepare beforehand:
1. Rules - Make your own personal agreement and guidelines for expectations, wishes and limits in advance.
2. Safe word - In advance, you must also agree on a safe word that you can say if the game has to stop completely.
3. Take care of the neck - Never tie knots around the neck.
4. Scissors - Always have a pair of scissors nearby so you can quickly get out of the shibari knots if they are untidy or one of you gets in trouble.
5. Use Correct Ties - Even if you've been a Boy Scout, forget your rawhide knots and bitch knots. Use only original shibari bindings. They are made for the purpose and are more secure.
6. The 2-Finger Rule - Never make your bindings tighter than you can fit two fingers between the rope and the skin.
7. Shibari rope - Only use shibari rope that is intended for Japanese bondage.
8. Check Youtube - Do you want a few tips and sex ideas before you throw yourself into shibari, then watch a few Youtube videos on the subject together, so you are well prepared.
2 shibari knots you need to know
Here we present you with two bondage knots that you should know about. By mastering the two, you can create countless beautiful bindings on your partners.
1. Single column tie
A good beginner's knot is the 'single column tie', which is basic to pretty much every shibari tie you will make. Single column tie do you use e.g. to tie around an ankle or a wrist.
In this video you can see step by step how to make it. It is always a good idea to practice the knots on your own leg before tying each other. That way, you don't have to fumble with it once you're in the mood. *link to the second video from bondage text*
In this video you can get good tips on which bondage bindings you can make as a beginner with single column tie.
2. Double column tie
This shibari knot resembles a single column tie, but is used to tie e.g. both wrists or ankles together. You can use it to fix the hands in front or behind the back, tie an ankle together with a wrist, etc.
You get a good overview of the binding here:
What does the word 'shibari' mean?
Shibari means "to bind" and the very similar practice, 'kinbaku', means "to bind tightly".
The story behind shibari
The word originates from a traditional Japanese practice called hojōjutsu, which was a method of fixing and transporting prisoners of war. The method dates back to the 17th century and in some cases was also used to torture prisoners of war.
The prisoners were bound in special patterns according to the crime they had committed. So the shibari bindings also had a very symbolic function.
During the 1800s, the practice was slowly phased out and instead appeared in Japanese BDSM environments. Here it became known as shibari or kinbaku.
At Klub Venus you will find plenty of inspiration for your sex life. Read e.g. our guide for those who have trouble getting turned on , our tips for pelvic floor balls , and our article that answers the question how to use a dildo?
