Having sex for the first time is a big deal. Maybe you've been thinking about it for a long time. Maybe you have talked to your girlfriends and friends about it. It can be strange to think that something you have fantasized about and tried to imagine at some point becomes something you do as part of everyday life with your girlfriend or another sex partner.
First of all, it is important that you are comfortable the first time you have sex. And don't expect too much: You probably won't orgasm the first few times you sleep with others, and it might also feel awkward or weird. You often have to practice sex before it starts to feel like something extraordinarily nice. But it is still important that it feels nice to you. Just lying together naked can feel nice.
How do you have sex the first time?
You may have seen how the actors act in porn movies . And it is of course an advantage that you know what genitals look like, what you can do with them, and that you can also use e.g. tongue or fingers when having sex. But your first intercourse is not going to look like a porn movie - in fact, sex rarely looks like what you see in movies.
Before you get started, it is important that you both have given your consent. You can read more about this in our guide How do you ask for consent?
It's a good idea to lie down and cuddle. Kiss each other, caress and touch each other in different parts of the body. When and if you both feel ready, you can lie down close to each other. You can gently insert the penis into the vagina or the penis into the anus if you both have a penis. Just like you can penetrate each other with your fingers if you both have a vulva. It can be difficult to find the right hole the first time, and if you don't succeed, you just try again a second time.
Sex does not at all have to involve one of you being penetrated: That is, one sticking neither penis, fingers or toys into the other. Sex is also cuddling, kissing, hugging and touching.
Remember that it's perfectly okay to interrupt intercourse midway if you don't feel like it anyway.
Afterwards you can hold each other and maybe talk about how you think it was to have sex. Was there anything particularly nice? And was it a good experience for both of you?
READ ALSO: How to masturbate?
4 good tips when you have sex for the first time
1. Use lube - When you get horny, if you have a vagina, your body produces secretions: It's a moist, clear mass. Perhaps you have heard someone talk about getting wet? It is this moist vaginal secretion that makes your crotch wet, and your body produces it to make it easier for the penis to slide into the vagina. The first few times you have sex, you may not want to get very wet because you are nervous. Therefore, it can be a good idea to use a lubricant that is made just for that purpose. If you don't have a vagina, your body doesn't make its own lubrication, so it might also be a good idea to use a lubricant. You can read more about how to use lube in our guide Which lube should I choose? Just as you can of course also buy lubricant here on Klub Venus' website .
2. Get to know yourself - Before you go to bed with someone for the first time, it's a good idea to know how your body works, what your abdomen looks like and how it feels when you touch it: Try f .eg to find the entrance to the vagina with your finger, it will be much easier to find your way around when you have to have sex. You can read our vulva guide to find out where, for example. clitoris sits. If you have a penis, you can explore how it feels to touch it in different ways. For that purpose, we can recommend our masturbation guide .
3. Take your time - It is important that you take things at your own pace. You both need to feel safe, and it's actually not so important that you actually have intercourse with penetration, as that it feels good to both of you. Take care, hugs and kisses.
4. Laugh it all off - Sex for the first time can be really awkward, so it's a good idea if you can laugh a bit about it all. Remember, it should be fun. Sex is not about looking the right way and doing the right things. Maybe the condom is hard to put on. Maybe you have difficulty finding a good way to lie down. So smile and laugh if something feels clumsy or doesn't quite go as planned.
READ ALSO: What does an orgasm feel like?
When is it normal to have sex for the first time?
Half of Danish young people have had sex when they are 16 years old. And nine out of 10 have tried to have sex by the time they turn 24. So if you haven't slept with anyone yet, you're completely normal.
Does it hurt the first time you have sex?
It may hurt a little bit the first time - but it's not safe at all. Most of all, it might hurt because you are tensing up in the lower abdomen. It can be difficult to relax if you are nervous the first time, and you may not get wet either. Possibly can you use lube to make it all slide a little easier.
Bleeding the first time you have sex?
There is a myth that you bleed the first time you have sex if you have a vagina. But less than half experience a little blood or a little pink or brown discharge. The blood can e.g. come from a small tear in the mucous membrane - but it is far from everyone who experiences it.
