The first letter in 'BDSM' stands for 'bondage', and is a kink for you who are turned on by either being bound and submitting to your partners, or being the one who binds and takes control of others.
It's a kink where most people can join, regardless of whether you're into gentle bondage with blindfolding or if you're into advanced bondage binding. Here you get a bondage guide with tips, tricks and good advice.
What is bondage?
Bondage is a gentler branch within BDSM. This is not a full introduction to BDSM but a guide on how to get started with the bondage part.
Bondage originally originates from the Japanese rope art shibari , which consists of a number of aesthetic binding techniques. Originally, it was a technique used by Japanese samurai to bind and transport their prisoners of war.
In this guide, you will get an introduction to the type of bondage that is most used in the western part of the world, where we play more with cuffs, gag-balls and blindfolding. There is not so much focus on sex positions and penetration. Instead, it centers on the play between control and submission.
How do I get started with bondage?
Exploring a kink together can bring you and your partners even closer. In order to have the best possible experience, it is important that you discuss your expectations, fantasies and wishes for your joint bondage adventure well before you get started.
In bondage there is a 'dominant' who takes control and a 'submissive' who surrenders control. Together you play with the boundaries between pleasure and pain, control and submission. So a good place to start is to agree on how the roles are distributed.
Then you can have a chat about where you would like to start - is it gentle dominance with tying the hands together, or do you want to start with the more advanced tying techniques. Talk about what you each want out of the experience - should it be sexual and playful, or sensual and intimate?
In bondage, it is very much about reading and feeling each other, and therefore it is important that you do it with someone you trust and are comfortable with. Further down the page you can read good safety advice, which is also important to talk about beforehand.
How to tie a bondage knot?
The beginner knot 'single column tie', also known from shibari, is the basic knot from which you can make many other bindings - whether it's gentle bondage or the more hard-core kind. The knot can be made on the upper arm, forearm, leg, thigh and stomach.
Practice before you start, so that you and your partner are not filtered in unnecessarily. You can practice tying the knots on your own leg. See in this Youtube video how to make it .
What equipment do I need?
Some of the most commonly used equipment for bondage are:
- Blind fold to get in front of the eyes
- Collar to fix the submissive with
- Rope made specifically for bondage tying and bondage knots
- Gag-ball to get into the mouth of the submissive so that it is not possible to speak
- Cuffs and cuffs (aka. handcuffs) for chaining hands/ankles together or fixed to e.g. a bed.
How much of it you need depends on how gently you want to start.
3 kinky tips for your bondage play
1. Single bondage
If you want to spice up sex with yourself and explore your kink alone, you can use cuffs. Chain one end to the head rail and the other end around your wrist.
You can open Klub venus' superhero cuff with one hand and you will also be able to put on and take off our gag-ball yourself. Which is pretty smart if you're into bondage alone.
2. Fixated in the dark
The submissive is put on a chair blindfolded and the hands fixed on the back with cuffs. The ankles can be attached to the chair legs with simple bondage knots.
The dominant teases the partner's body with feathers, ice cubes or something else.
3. Expansive and quiet
If there is a ceiling beam or hook in the ceiling, you can use it. The submissive is fixed with cuffs and the arms stretched above the head. Give the Submissive a gag-ball in the mouth, then explore the body with heat, cold, whipping and light touches.
If you don't have a ceiling beam available, you can do the same lying down with your arms and possibly legs strapped to the rail of the bed.
7 good tips for safety when experimenting with bondage
1. Ask in
Even if you have had a good chat before you start, remember to ask the partner who is bound, both before during and after your bondage play. Surrendering all control can trigger strong emotions. Make your own little personal bondage guidelines in advance with rules for how it should all proceed.
2. Talk together afterwards
It can be a wild, fantastic and also violent experience for many. The one who gets tied must surrender control and have complete trust in his partners. It can be an exercise for many. So can taking full control. So in addition to an endorphin rush and feeling of greater togetherness, it can trigger other feelings that you have to talk through afterwards.
3. Safe word
Agree in advance on a word you can say if you want the play to stop completely because the submissive becomes uncomfortable in one way or another.
4. Remember scissors
If you use rope, always have a pair of scissors close at hand in case the submissive wants to free quickly. Or if the knots cannot be removed.
5. Use well-tested nodes and equipment
One thing you should not experiment with is inventing your very own knots. Stick to the original bondage knots when tying each other. They are safe and easy to get out of. The same applies to binding materials. Only use ropes and products intended for the purpose. Yarn, masking tape and poly rope are neither safe nor sexy.
6. The two-finger rule
Regardless of whether you use rope or cuffs or something else to tie each other with, there must always be two fingers between what is being fixed with and the skin. In this way, you avoid dangerous situations and damage to nerves and tissue.
7. No neck
Avoid tying ropes around your neck. You can instead use a collar designed for the purpose. And also remember that you must never pull the collar from behind - this can block the airways. If you want to pull your partner by the collar, it must always be from the front, so that the pressure is on the neck.
At Klub Venus you will find plenty of inspiration for your sex life. Read e.g. our guide for those who have trouble getting turned on , our tips for pelvic floor balls , and our article that answers the question how to use a dildo?
